The incumbent swimmers and pool attendants desperately kicked and clawed their way to the exits: wild eyed parents hurled their beloved children aside and back into the pool, berserk in their self-serving frenzy to scramble to safety; a teenage lifeguard, hitherto a mere child, became a man unto himself, wielding a metal pool pole about him with maniacal power, sweeping all before him, whilst the elderly were left to make their own wrinkled way slowly to the steps, blue of lip and tutting loudly. The desolation was absolute.
Oblivious to the apocalyptic scene, Brody searched for an appropriate entry into the water. Glowering angrily he spied the pool lift installation for the handicapped ahead of him. His beady eyes locked on to the target and he lunged forward, pouring his voluptuous curves into the lowering chair, which immediately gave way beneath his elephantine backside. He was plunged into the pool, but kicking and spluttering he broke the surface. The pool's water level had risen by several inches; a misshapen grin spread across his face: "EUREKA", he gurgled happily - Brody knew his Archimedes.
A brown slick had formed around him as the excrement blemishes relocated from the backs of his thighs. Perturbed, naked, and floating in a pool of his own dissolved effluence, Brody pondered his situation for a several seconds. A structure at the far end of the pool caught his eye and he gasped as he realised its significance: the 10 metre diving platform. Conserving energy for the climb to the top, he continued to float on his back, allowing the natural current generated by his undignified entrance to carry him forth. The brown slick tracked him insidiously.
Steps were a problem for Brody; due to his girth he couldn't just place one leg up in front of the other, he had to move his whole body to the side first and then move forwards and upwards, much like a sumo wrestler's pre-fight ritual before entering the ring. It was exhausting. Steadily he journeyed ever upwards. He fainted at the 2nd platform, utterly spent, legs and arms spreadeagled, pathetic, wizened testicles and meager phallus limply draped sideways. Hours passed. He dreamt of an otherworldly journey, traversing an alien galaxy at impossible speed, stars and planets flashing past in bursts of colours, a Filet-O-Fish sandwich with the face of a Predator his constant companion.
Brody awoke screaming, but swiftly regained his composure, chiding himself for such an outward show of weakness. He struggled onwards, noticing a crowd gathering in the pool's viewing gallery to his left. The final few steps were conquered and at last he clambered atop the high platform. He stood, legs shoulder-width apart, arms held out wide, and bellowed his victory to the heavens like the Tyrannosaurus Rex from Jurassic Park I: the viewers in the gallery covered their ears and shied away from the Phil Spector-esque wall of sound that savagely berated them.
Brody stepped forward to the edge of the platform, his purpose now clear to all in attendance. As if a spell had been broken, chaos ran amok in the gallery as the once rapt audience sought to escape the oncoming devastation. Brody ignored them, cackling demonically in the knowledge that their actions were futile. The atmosphere was sallow faced and pregnant with dread as he stodgily plopped off the platform. He fell towards the water with stunning pace, but with a grace and form that belied his repugnant rotundity. The impact fractions of a second later was cataclysmal, and the world was engulfed in darkness....
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