A Trip to the Baths - Part 2

The catastrophically corpulent figure of Adrien Brody made his way into the changing rooms, clad in just a beige trench coat, now stained dark with rancid sweat from the ten metre waddle down the hallway, and a pair of mildew ridden flip flops. He also sported a brown trilby worn at a preposterously jaunty angle, with a turquoise peacock feather tucked into the band - Brody knew he was the shit. He clutched his draw-string JD Sports bag in one clammy paw and the pair of white Speedos requisitioned from reception in the other.

He wriggled out of the coat, moobs jiggling suggestively as he did so, and sighed as he let it all hang out. Behind him he heard retching en masse as other sallow faced pool goers caught sight. Brody turned around to see what all the fucking fuss was about: grown men, profoundly pregnant with dread were groaning ghoulishly, wailing and self-flagellating with their own knotted towels, transfixed in horror at the porcine figure before them that was pulsating like a perfectly set strawberry jelly as it tried to force itself into a pair of undersized Speedos.

Brody was pushing frantically, trying to manoeuvre his swathes of blubber in and around the Speedos with minimal success. One leg was through, but the other stubbornly resisted. He pushed once again with all his considerable weight, but slipped suddenly, cascading to the cold, piss-sodden changing room floor in a waterfall of morbid obesity. He flopped around weakly on the floor in a manner not dissimilar to Jabba the Hut after being strangled by Princess Leia, struggling to regain his feet.

He grabbed hold of a bench and hauled himself upwards, soiling himself loudly and messily in the process. His lungs screaming for oxygen, Brody craned his neck to inspect the damage: the Speedos were ripped and unsightly smears of faeces stained the backs of his thighs. The stench was wretched.

He shrugged in contempt at the situation, and stomped towards the pool entrance, trailing a line of his own feculence behind him. He saw a sign out of the corner of his eye: "Please shower before entering the pool". Brody flipped it the bird and carried on, as the first screams rang out...